To sleep, perchance to dream

A u g u s t  2 4 , 2 0 1 5

I wonder about the day when I'll wake up and not want to kill myself. In the meantime I'm doing a very poor job of distracting myself. Living is easy, natural, effortless. It's surviving that's hard. When every movement I make feels like it weights a ton. And I can't even applaud myself at the end of the day for making it out alive because it would require too much effort. I always thought sleep would make things better but I count headaches to fall asleep. Sleeping is torture. It's the time when my mind slowly chews every part of my body. I don't wonder why I wake up wanting to kill myself when sleep has already begun the process. No, I wonder when it will stop and how strange I will feel when it does.